This week was a return to the rhythm of getting a 7 year old dressed, full of breakfast and at the school gate at 9am. Add to that the temperatures of around 4º and the fact that we only heat a couple of rooms in our house. This was a difficult week. We will know things are getting easier and warmer when the olive oil in the kitchen becomes fully liquid again. Walks in the park and yoga, are helping me find my way back to organised and productive days. It turns out that running an association is just a constant never ending cycle of administrative tasks, and increasingly I am now managing other people – which like any work with people is complex, sometimes flowing beautifully and other times incredibly draining. I must find some balance – teaching, or having fun, or actually producing somthing. The new website is the only thing I’m producing right now and it’s going rather slowly.

Every day police violence

I did some important Brexit related admin this week in Barcelona, and finally went to pick up my Spanish ID card. The process, one which I will never have to repeat, was an incredible experience of the reality of immigration issues and my privilege as a UK passport holder. To get this legal identity card from other places in the world the queue is three hours, standing in various different queues while doubting if you are in the right one. The UK people go into a separate office with few people and wait on chairs. I know this because I went in the wrong queue back in October. 

Yesterday I witnessed even more of the frustrations and weirdness surrounding this process. To pick up the card once it has been made you have to go WITH AN APPOINTMENT to the Barcelona “Policia Nacional” office. The website said “no appointments available” every single time I logged in. The rules said that I must pick up my card within 40 days, but I was also in a situation where I could’t get an appointment. 

So I went to the office. An aggressive young officer outside told me that yes I had to queue up in order to ask him a question. When another officer barked at us to stand closer to the wall in the queue I decided my strategy was to obey immediately showing them that they had total power over me and barking was a brilliant idea. 

15 mins later when I got to the front of the queue I had smartened myself up a bit (took off my silly pink hat and fingerless gloves i’ve had since I was a teenager), I had prepared what I was going to say, and was ready to be absolutely 100% calm and polite, and not expect anything. This actually worked. After asking what to do to get the card I somehow found myself moved to the side of the queue with one other woman. Here I was, standing in front of 20 posters saying “You must have an appointment” about to get in without an appointment. Magic. 

From this spot I watched the officers say no to everyone else without an appointment, except one other woman. We were the lucky three. 

Anyone who expressed their frustration at the insanity of the system (these people have spent hours and hours logging in to the system at different times of day hoping it says something other than “no appointments available”) received an incredibly aggressive response from the police. I saw a man with his child yelled at in the face “get out of here”, then taken by the arm and told to “go”. I then saw two males, one after the other,  yelled at and pushed hard in the back. These people were asking for the same information I was, just letting their stress and frustration show. 

As witness to this, and one of the lucky ones, I felt incredibly weird and uncomfortable. Here they were yelling “noone gets in without an appointment” and here we were three people for who that wasn’t true. Was this the moment to try and take some sort of stand and call out the violence and hypocrisy? No. For me it was the moment to breathe, maintain a silent calm and wait patiently, committing the story to memory to be able to share it as a learning experience for others; the absolute truth in the benefits of inner calm, and the uselessness of stress. As well as the horror of the way society works for people who are frustrated and desperate.

We were given no indication of how long our chosen group of three (all female) would wait for our non-appointment, but we all knew that standing here in the sun, with the end of this process in our grasp today was a whole lot better than more frustration and doubt trying the website, or phone calls that are never answered. The woman before me had been waiting 90 minutes. I was there a mere 20!

When we got inside one of the officers was there, kind of joking with us saying “I don’t get paid enough for this” and “Every single day we have to do this”. She then listened to one man who actually got in the door and asked reasonably polite question before telling him “noone gets in without a previous appointment”, then shouted “outside” to another woman who tried the same move to get inside. 

After a few more minutes I got in to the office. There were two people working, and more than two empty desks. Really?

I was out in two more minutes with my permanent ID card, complete with fingerprint data, photo and a little window with a picture of me. I hadn’t really expected to get all the way to this point today, and as she put my scraggy green paper on a pile of documents to be disposed of I looked at there with an emotional moment of nostalgia. That folded, torn, sellotaped piece of paper had been with me for 14 years since 2006 when I moved to Barcelona. I lost it for over a year in 2010 before finding it folded in the special lift pass pocket of my old ski jacket. I had a sudden urge to take a selfie with it! but it was too late, and I can’t imagine how the police would react to photos in the office, there was absolutely nothing going on with me except nervous best behaviour. Just the way they wanted everyone.

This weeks crazy ideas and new stuff

That was a long story about just two hours of this week. So I’ll share a few more things that are going on. Firstly I have a dream to start a podcast. I have a vague idea of format, but not sure about the technical side. Secondly I’m considering offering a regular zoom session, I have three ideas for this: One hour to just be available for questions, one hour to do connection activities, based on Joanna Macy the work that reconnects and Jon Young Exploring Natural Mystery. And one hour which is content based, sharing ideas and principles and examples of ecosocial and regenerative design. That’s 3 hours. Should I do that, or should I go and spend time online networking? Or maybe I could try and get a job teaching ecosoical design, that way someone else could do all the coordinating?

Also this week I was extremely happy to take up a position as a Director for “Greenhearted” the new NGO being created by the wonderful Kate Curtis in South Africa. 

And this morning I loved this little piece of direct action by the neighbours who are sick of dog poo everywhere. 

I try to write every Friday – read more here